soc.couples.wedding FAQ section 11

11) Showers

11.1) Who can host a shower?

Anyone who isn't the mother or sister of the bride. Because the point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, it is inappropriate for a very close relative to host it. The bridesmaids often host a shower. It is important, when inviting people to a shower, to make sure only to invite people who are also going to be invited to the wedding. Remember, the purpose of a shower is to give gifts, and it is rude to expect someone to give a gift if they aren't important enough to be invited to the wedding.

11.2) If the people at work give me a shower, do I have to invite them to the wedding?

No. A work-related shower can be given by people and have guests who are not invited to the wedding. The same would be true of a shower given by members of a club the bride belongs to and other similar "special group" showers.

11.3) Is it OK to include the bride's registry information with the shower invitation?

Yes, because showers exist for the purpose of giving gifts. However, common sense is a good idea here; if you're planning a shower where you expect people to bring a small gift like a rubber spatula and a recipe card, you probably don't want to include the registry information!

11.4) What are some possible shower themes?

There are any number of possible shower themes. Some examples are a recipe shower, a lingerie shower, a kitchen shower, an "around the clock" shower (where each guest is told to bring a gift that could be used at a specific time of day), a bath shower, a hardware shower, and a stationery shower.

It is not necessary to have a shower theme.

11.5) Can I have a co-ed shower?

Yes. Some people are finding that it is more congenial to have a co-ed shower, particularly when the couple have many of the same friends of both genders. In this case, one usually invites both the bride and groom to attend (or plans it as a surprise for both the bride and groom).


The contents of this document are copyright 2004 Sonja Kueppers. Do not use without permission.


Last Modified: May 15, 2004

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