FAQ section 3

3) Engagement

3.1) Does a woman's ring have to be a diamond? Does it have to be expensive?

No. Many women prefer colored stones, such as sapphires, rubies, and emeralds. Colored stones can be set by themselves or with diamonds. Another possibility is to have a diamond or colored stone solitaire, with a wedding band that fits together with it (sometimes known as a "wrap") and contains diamonds or colored stones.

A woman's engagement ring can be as expensive or inexpensive as is appropriate to the finances and wishes of the couple. Some couples elect to have a diamond-like substitute, such as a cubic zirconia. This is not inappropriate, and there is no reason why this choice should need to be public knowledge.

3.2) Should the man pick out the ring by himself, or together with his prospective fiancée?

A man should endeavor to find out what his prospective fiancée prefers that he do. Some women want very much to be surprised with a ring; others feel very strongly that they wish to select their own ring.

If you would like to surprise your fiancée with a ring, but also want to take her wishes into account, there are several alternatives available to you.

3.3) What about engagement rings for men?

There are a number of options for engagement rings for men.

3.4) Is it necessary to have a ring in order to propose?

Only if your prospective fiancée expects you to have one.

If you wish to have one, but cannot afford it, you might select an inexpensive ring or locket as a token.

3.5) Is a ring necessary at all?

No. It is not necessary to have an engagement ring in order to be engaged. If you choose not to have an engagement ring, you may want to exchange other engagement gifts or tokens. Some couples exchange earrings or necklaces; others exchange gifts that are not jewelry. Some ideas:

Obviously, some of these gifts have more "lasting value" than others. Some people think it's very important that an engagement gift be of lasting value. Others don't find this important.

The contents of this document are copyright 2004 Sonja Kueppers. Do not use without permission.

Last Modified: May 15, 2004